Friday, February 12, 2016

Guy Trapped in Bear Suit is not Amused

Johnny Noxious, the famous practical joker, has just survived three days trapped in a bear suit when his zipper broke. This hilarious footage of him was shot by two holidaymakers in Yellowstone National Park.

"I was pretty punchy by this point."

Not usually the butt of the joke, he and his butt became part of the joke when he was finally brought down by a tranquilizer dart. He is recuperating at the Emergency Proctology Center in San Fransisco.

"My buddy zipped me into the suit and was supposed to keep an eye on me, but he lost me when I mingled with a group of bears. I couldn't make myself heard because the bear suit muffled my voice so that it sounded like I was growling," he said.

He has been surviving on handouts from sightseers who mistook his frantic waving for playfulness.

"Couldn't they tell it was a costume? Look how moth-eaten it is. I tell you, there were times when I almost ended it all by throwing myself on the electric fence. You can imagine how much it smelled in there after three days. Everything went black when they shot that gigantic dart into my a**."

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